Those Advice shared by A Parent Which Helped Us as a Brand-New Dad

"I believe I was simply in survival mode for the first year."

Ex- reality TV star Ryan Libbey thought he would to cope with the difficulties of fatherhood.

But the reality rapidly turned out to be "very different" to his expectations.

Life-threatening health complications during the birth saw his partner Louise admitted to hospital. Abruptly he was pushed into becoming her chief support while also taking care of their infant son Leo.

"I took on each nighttime feed, every change… every stroll. The duty of both mum and dad," Ryan shared.

Following nearly a year he burnt out. It was a chat with his own dad, on a public seat, that led him to understand he needed help.

The simple words "You aren't in a healthy space. You must get support. In what way can I assist you?" created an opening for Ryan to express himself truthfully, seek support and regain his footing.

His situation is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. While society is now better used to talking about the stress on moms and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the challenges fathers encounter.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan feels his challenges are linked to a larger inability to open up amongst men, who still internalise negative ideas of masculinity.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the fortress that just gets smashed and doesn't fall with each wave."

"It isn't a display of failure to request help. I didn't do that fast enough," he explains.

Therapist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist who studies mental health surrounding childbirth, says men can be reluctant to accept they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not the right person to be seeking help" - especially in preference to a mother and child - but she stresses their mental state is equally important to the family.

Ryan's conversation with his dad provided him with the chance to request a respite - spending a few days abroad, away from the home environment, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he required a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotions alongside the day-to-day duties of taking care of a new baby.

When he was honest with Louise, he discovered he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -holding her hand and paying attention to her words.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan sees being a dad.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his journey as a dad, which he hopes his son will read as he matures.

Ryan hopes these will assist his son to better grasp the expression of feelings and make sense of his decisions as a father.

The concept of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

When he was young Stephen did not have reliable male a father figure. Even with having an "incredible" connection with his dad, profound difficult experiences meant his father struggled to cope and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says bottling up emotions resulted in him make "bad decisions" when in his youth to change how he was feeling, seeking comfort in drink and drugs as a way out from the hurt.

"You gravitate to behaviours that don't help," he explains. "They might briefly alter how you feel, but they will in the end exacerbate the problem."

Advice for Coping as a New Dad

• Talk to someone - if you feel under pressure, confide in a trusted person, your partner or a professional how you're feeling. This can to ease the pressure and make you feel less alone.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the pursuits that helped you to feel like you before the baby arrived. It could be playing sport, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the physical health - eating well, staying active and where possible, resting, all play a role in how your mind is doing.
• Spend time with other parents in the same boat - listening to their experiences, the messy ones, as well as the joys, can help to validate how you're experiencing things.
• Remember that asking for help is not failure - taking care of your own well-being is the most effective way you can care for your household.

When his father later died by suicide, Stephen expectedly had difficulty processing the loss, having had no contact with him for a long time.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's determined not to "continue the chain" with his own son and instead give the stability and nurturing he did not receive.

When his son is about to have a outburst, for example, they do "shaking it out" together - expressing the feelings safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen say they have become improved and more well-rounded men since they acknowledged their pain, transformed how they communicate, and figured out how to regulate themselves for their sons.

"I'm better… dealing with things and managing things," explains Stephen.

"I wrote that in a letter to Leo last week," Ryan adds. "I expressed, at times I believe my purpose is to instruct and tell you what to do, but in reality, it's a exchange. I am understanding just as much as you are on this path."